Forever Mine Read online

  He cleared his throat. “Before we delve into what is really bruised here, I would like permission to call you Augustine. If I may. It would make me feel as if I can trust you. And I need that assurance. Because all along I thought I was the one that had to earn your trust, when in fact, I’m beginning to believe that you have yet to earn mine.”

  She drew her brows together, trying to make sense of what he was saying. Was he on to her leaving? Oh, no. “I don’t quite understand your point.”

  He grabbed her arm in the darkness and squeezed it. “We need to trust each other before we both drown in whatever mess you are in.” He released her. “Which is why I will call you Augustine and you will call me…Irving. That will ensure we are friends.”

  She blinked. “Irving? Isn’t your birth name Leonard?”

  “Bravo,” he drawled. “I was wondering if you knew my birth name. You must like me a lot more than you let on.”

  She slowly shook her head. “You really are soused, aren’t you?”

  “Don’t let the port fool you. My mind has always been stronger than any spirit.”

  She swallowed, worrying this conversation was taking up far too much time. Something she didn’t have. “Are we done? I really need to retire.”

  He stepped toward her, lingering close enough for her to feel the heat of his body. “No. I want you to tell me what happened to you and your brother in New York. I only know pieces of it and most of it is based on rumor.”

  Abashed, she stared up at his shadowed face. “Why are you asking me this? Why do you want to know?”

  “I leave for Scotland in the morning and won’t be back for eight weeks. I am tortured enough by my feelings for you without having to wonder what I should believe.” Deep concern tinted his voice. “What is this business of you never speaking to your father? Has he done something to you? Augustine, on my word, you can trust me.”

  Augustine closed her eyes trying to calm herself. What was she going to tell him? That her father was somehow related to the disappearance of her own brother? He would never believe her. The authorities certainly didn’t. Not the New York marshals and not the crown’s own investigators.

  She opened her eyes. “You would never believe me.”

  “Your father claims you are mentally unstable due to the loss of your brother. I don’t see it, nor do I wish to believe it, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t hiding it. Do you mean to tell me he has cause to say such things? Why would he?”

  She clenched her teeth in an effort to keep herself from swinging away and screaming until her mind burst. It was as if her father was trying to erase all that had been by making her appear unsound. “Do not let his respectable persona fool you. He thinks he can make everyone forget what I know to be true, but I am about to put him in his place. I will unearth what he really is.”

  He was quiet for a moment, as if trying to settle on which question to ask first. “What did he do?”

  She hesitated. “I…I can’t say.”

  “Would you rather I go ask your father? I have no qualms of getting involved in this.”

  Dread seeped into every last inch of her, sensing that he meant it. “If I tell you, will you leave?”

  “I will leave if I deem it safe to do so.”

  “My safety is assured. You needn’t worry in that.”

  “Fine. Then I will leave. After you tell me.”

  She swallowed and half nodded. Perhaps it was good she was leaving behind a witness. Should anything happen to her whilst she was abroad. “My father was never a respectable sort of man,” she eventually confided. “He associated with many men and women from establishments best unnamed, despite the burden it brought upon my mother’s name and heart. When we all traveled to New York as a family with Nathaniel due to my father’s insistence upon wanting to purchase American land, he had gone on to associate with people he shouldn’t have, as was his nature. He had an acquaintance who nefariously waited outside my brother’s window for almost a week. When my brother and I confronted my father about it, we were assured that the man would desist. That same night, not only did the man desist, but my brother disappeared into the wall and hasn’t been seen since.”

  He shifted toward her and echoed, “What do you mean he disappeared into a wall?”

  She drew in a shaky breath and let it out. “The New York City Marshals referred to the crime as being a panel heist. Apparently, there were certain buildings built with secret passages before and during the revolution to hide American patriots from the British. One of those passageways happened to be behind the wall of my brother’s bedchamber. It led down into the cellar and out into the street. The authorities couldn’t piece together what had actually happened. Needless to say, when I repeatedly confronted my father, wanting to know more, he demanded I desist in the most violent of ways. I will confess that my mother and I even sustained smacks to the face due to our tongues. My mother has since succumbed to nerves and insisted that I marry to remove me out of his care and out of the house. She doesn’t trust him any more than I do. And like me, she believes that he was in some way responsible for the disappearance of my brother. I don’t know what he had involved himself in, but it wasn’t good.”

  “Dearest God,” he whispered. “Why would he… Did the authorities not conduct separate investigations into this matter?”

  “Of course they did. Even the crown got involved, given we are of the aristocracy, but nothing ever came of it. My father’s good name appears to have trumped the crime. After all, why would a well-respected peer dispense of his only heir?”

  Leaning in, the duke’s hand grazed her arm. “Augustine, I…” That hand slid to her waist, drawing her toward him. “By God.” With his other hand, he pressed her head to the warmth of his solid chest. The simple scent of his laundered clothes made her all the more aware that he was holding her. “I had heard variations of what had happened to your brother, but I never thought your father was in any way responsible or that…” His voice trailed off. “Christ. He hit you?”

  “Smacked me. Whenever I tried to speak up about it, yes.” She swallowed and closed her eyes, leaning into him and momentarily drifting away from the burden she had carried these past two years. The feel of his body against hers caused a small, almost exasperated breath to escape her lips as a numbing sense of comfort overtook her for the first time in a long time. He believed her. And that was all that mattered. If anything happened, she knew she could depend on him to step forth.

  He slid his arms around her waist, locking her against his muscled body. His hands traced and skimmed her shoulders and back. “I am not leaving you here with him. Not after what you told me. You are coming with me. Tonight.”

  Her eyes popped open and she leaned as far from his chest as she could, glancing up at the shadowy outline of his face, which hovered above hers. “I cannot leave with you.”

  He leaned in, nudging her head aside to access the curve of her throat. “Why not?” He kissed her throat softly with his lips, his warm breath turning her skin to a prickled mess. “Your father has already consented to our union and your mother wishes for you to be out of his care. This will ensure both.”

  “Yes, but, we can’t just—”

  “Oh, yes, we can. And oh, yes, we will. I suggest an elopement. A little bit of scandal isn’t going to be the end of you or me.”

  She pushed at his chest, trying to free herself from his overpowering presence. “I can’t. I…” Blast it. “I have plans.”

  “Plans?”

  She winced. “Yes. I should also point out that you aren’t exactly in your right mind, Your Grace, not with the amount of port you’ve had.”

  “Leonard. I thought we agreed on Leonard.”

  “I want you to leave. I need you to leave. Please.”

  “I am not leaving without you.” He yanked her back up against him, his hands curving around her waist and molding her more firmly against his body. “To hell with how things are usually done,” he said hoarsely.
“If there is one thing I have learned given my position, Augustine, it is this—always trust your instinct. It is usually right. And my instinct is telling me that I shouldn’t leave you behind for eight full weeks in the care of a man responsible for the disappearance of your brother. If your mother doesn’t trust him, why should I? Now listen to me. I want you to inform your lady’s maid to gather all of your gowns and pack a sizable trunk. We can ride straight to Gretna Green and make this legal that way, instead of waiting for a license from the bishop. From there, you will join me on business as my wife.”

  “Your wife?”

  “My wife.” He dipped toward her throat, his hot tongue sliding down her exposed neck.

  She swayed against him, half closing her eyes. She should have pushed him away. She should have told him to leave, but all she could do was stupidly angle her extended throat toward him, wanting to know what it would feel like to be his.

  His chest rose and fell all the more notably against hers as he raised his head away from her throat. “Don’t encourage me to do more.” Releasing a slow long breath, his hands slid from her backside up to her shoulders and skimmed down toward the curve of her throat, causing her to close her eyes against that sensual touch. “Gather those gowns. Go.”

  This was going to be awkward. He thought he was rescuing her when in fact she was already rescuing herself. “My gowns are already…packed.”

  He paused, tightening his hold on her. “Why?”

  Slowly opening her eyes, she edged out of his grasp. In some way, she wished she could fully see his face so as to make him understand just how important this journey was to her. “I am leaving to Liverpool. Tonight. Now, actually. Once there, I will be boarding a ship to New York.”

  “What?”

  “I intend to find my brother,” she calmly carried on. “I have been saving money for my search these past two years and plan to stay however long it takes, until every path has been exhausted on my end. I am only telling you this, Leonard, because I know I can trust you not to stop me. Trusting anyone is a relatively new concept for me, but given how incredible you have proven to be, I feel as if you deserve this measure of truth. I wish things could have been…different between you and me. I really do.”

  He drew in a notable breath before hissing it back out. “I have something to tell you, Augustine. Before anything more is said or done.”

  She sensed something between them was about to change. She tried not to panic as tears stung her eyes. “Don’t say anything. Please. Just let me leave. I cannot pretend that I could ever lead a normal life as your wife without ever knowing what happened to Nathaniel.”

  He grabbed her waist in the darkness, startling her, and yanked her back toward him. “Let me go with you,” he said in a low tone.

  She breathlessly looked up at the darkened outline of his face. “What?”

  “To go at this alone is to destroy any chance you might have of finding him. You will need money, time, support and above all, protection. I can give you all that and more.”

  “Leonard, no. Cease. I am not about to drag you into this.”

  “I will not permit you to do this alone. Do you understand? I will not.” His fingers dug into her as he pressed her harder against him. The rapid beating of his heart pulsed against her own as the heat of his lips lingered now above hers.

  Her heart fluttered. He was going to kiss her.

  He leaned toward her ear, instead, and whispered huskily, “Marry me. That is how we settle this. You need me and, damn it all, I need you. Don’t you know that? Have I not made that plain at every turn?”

  Even in a state of inebriation he appeared to have complete control over himself and his life, as if he always knew what was best and had faith it was best. There was a clarity there that even she did not possess in her strongest moments. It made her realize she hadn’t quite given this man his due. “If you wish to assist me in finding him,” she whispered, “you will have to wait. For I am not ready to wed. I cannot become a wife given the state of my mind. It wouldn’t be fair to you and it wouldn’t be fair to me.”

  He paused. “Is it me you don’t wish to wed?”

  “No, it isn’t you,” she insisted. “In fact, I would cherish and forever be indebted to you if you were to join me and give me the comfort and guidance I know I will need. Know that I merely wish to come to you with less of a burden. ’Tis something we both deserve. I need a measure of peace, knowing I have done everything I could to find him before moving on with my life. Before becoming a wife.”

  He was quiet for a moment. “If we leave to New York together, Augustine, if we do this outside the sanctity of matrimony, you do realize London will ostracize you for the rest of your life? Even if you and I were never to touch?”

  “Yes. I realize that.”

  “And what if you do find him? Have you thought of that? You will end up ostracizing your brother from his own new circle, as well. Is that what you want?”

  Her throat tightened. She hadn’t even thought of that.

  He blew out a breath. “I will need a few days to meet with solicitors and my secretary and ensure everything is in place for us to go to New York. Do you wish to stay here whilst you wait for me to arrange our trip?? Or do you wish to leave with me tonight? Which I prefer.”

  Realizing this man was about to follow her into the flames of her own making made loving him irresistible. He was a breath of magnificent air she’d been gasping for. The man had already proven his earlier words about how his devotion would serve to uncomplicate anything and everything. She didn’t feel so scared anymore. She felt as though this was the path she was destined to be on. A path with him on it.

  Veering a trembling hand out toward the heat of his shadowed face, she grazed her fingers against his shaven cheek. “I wish to leave with you tonight. Thank you, Leonard. Thank you for—”

  “Never thank me for something you deserve.” He grabbed her hand and guided her out of the lower library and into the corridor. “Rouse your mother and have her pack. She will oversee your honor throughout this and our journey to New York.”

  She choked, yanking her hand out of his. “Rouse my— No! I thought we were doing this.”

  “We have a name to uphold, Augustine. Nor are we cowards. I don’t expect this to go well, but rest assured, I cannot and will not have you disappearing into the night without your mother even knowing what happened to you. Your father doesn’t deserve a spit of respect in this, but your mother does. She also deserves to see your honor intact. And that is how we will ensure it remains intact. She will go with us to New York and she will remain at our side until we are wed.”

  Oh, dear God. This was exactly what she didn’t want to happen! “Leonard! She won’t go. I know she won’t. This has torn her life apart in a way she refuses to relive and I don’t blame her. Which is why we can’t—”

  “It is time you trust me. Trust me before you make a bigger fouillis of your life than it already is.” He paused. “Now. Have the footmen transfer your trunks into my carriage outside. Once that is done, go to your mother and have her pack and do the same. Tell her she will oversee your honor. Assure her that in time we will wed. That will alleviate any of her immediate concerns. We will deal with that aspect of it later, but right now, I just want you and your mother in my carriage. Wait for me there. I intend to speak to your father. And whatever you do, don’t either of you leave that carriage. Do you understand? Regardless of what happens. My driver is always armed whenever I’m about town, so the safest place for you and your mother to be is in that carriage.” He pointed at her. “I will see you shortly.”

  Augustine watched his tall figure veer around the corner and out of sight. Oh, God. What had she done?

  Chapter Three

  What would Nathaniel make of this? I dare not fathom.

  -From the diary of Lady Augustine Jane Ascott

  “The devil you will!” the earl boomed, his aging face flaring within the shadows of the candlelight in
the entrance hall that lead out of the house. “This is madness. Madness!” Adjusting his Turkish robe, he gestured rigidly toward the open door where his footmen lingered. “Fetch my wife and daughter. Fetch them both at once!”

  Leonard jumped toward both footmen, blocking the entrance and pointed at each of them with a clarity no port could sway him from. “My driver is armed, gentlemen. Touch either lady, I will order him to shoot. Do you understand?”

  The footmen paused and glanced back at the earl.

  Leonard rounded the servants and stared the earl down. “Your wife will return to you in time. After she oversees your daughter’s honor.”

  The earl slowly stepped back. “What is this? Why are you doing this? I already agreed to see you both married upon your return from Scotland.”

  “Sadly, my lord, I am not about to leave her in your care for another night. Not after what she told me. And not given the way you speak of her as if she were the one who is unsound. ’Tis obvious who is truly unsound. And she and I will prove it.”

  Lord Sumner’s face tightened.

  “Whatever foul business led to the disappearance of your son,” Leonard continued, “it ends with me tonight. I will not have her living with this burden and will endeavor to lift that burden at every turn.”

  A cool, stone look hardened that face. “You know nothing of what happened. Nothing.”

  Leonard leaned toward him. “I have heard rumors, my lord, but what I heard from your daughter’s lips tonight is what sickens and astounds me. How do you breathe knowing your son may very well be dead because of your disreputable associations? And how do you breathe knowing that your own daughter will never know peace because of it?”

  The earl edged back. “Atwood meant far more to me than you or anyone else will ever know.”

  Leonard narrowed his gaze. “Defy what I deem is best and I will ensure this entire affair is made public. I have nothing to lose or hide. Can you say the same? And do you honestly think anything I say or do could compare to the disappearance of your own son?”